How to Help Your Terminal Sibling Cope

Helping a sibling cope with a terminal prognosis is one of the most emotionally painful experiences. It can be difficult, confusing, and overwhelming for all parties involved to maintain a positive mindset during such an emotionally challenging time. You may also be wondering what you can do to help your loved one cope with their situation.

Understand that it is entirely acceptable to be in a state of shock when you first receive the news of your sibling’s terminal prognosis. While you may already be grieving for the eventual loss of your sibling, know that it is important for you to try to stay strong so you can be there to offer them your love and support. Ultimately, the most important things you can offer your loved one are your love and compassion and simply being there for them during this difficult time.

Coping with a sibling’s terminal prognosis is an extremely difficult situation, and nothing can truly prepare us for it. We understand that no amount of advice or recommendations will be able to give your loved one their health back. However, we hope that this list of coping strategies offers you and your loved one some comfort during this incredibly challenging time.

How Can You Communicate Effectively with Your Loved One About Their Needs?

Don’t assume that your sibling or loved one has accepted their terminal prognosis. Even if your sibling seems to be handling the situation well, this may be due to their being in a state of shock and therefore, unable to fully process their emotions at this time. They may also be behaving this way to prevent you from suffering any further pain.

It is important to be attentive to your loved one’s needs and wants during this time. Take the opportunity to ask your loved one exactly what they need or desire, how you can help, and what they want to do during their remaining time. Address these questions directly rather than waiting for them to open up about it so you can start focusing on helping them enjoy their remaining time and take their mind off their situation. Talk to them about their plans before they depart. Perhaps you can still help them fulfill special wishes that were important to them before their diagnosis. Most importantly, always offer them your love and support, even if they appear to be handling the situation emotionally well.

Why Is Creating a Wish List Important?

After talking directly with your sibling and making sure they know they have your full support, you can start planning to create a wish list together.

Create a list of your loved one’s most cherished desires, and try your best to remove yourself as well as your feelings from it. While it can be difficult, now isn’t the time to focus on your own individual wishes. Instead, concentrate your love, compassion, and time on your sibling. This means that even if you think an activity sounds fun and exciting but your sibling doesn’t agree or feel comfortable with it, try not to insist on it.

Include things like:

• Things your loved one would love to accomplish.
• Places they always wanted to visit.
• Foods they always wanted to try.
• Any special occasions they would like to celebrate before departing.
• Activities they always wanted to try but were too afraid to do so.
• Something both of you always wanted to do together but never had the time for.

Such a list of important sentimental items and activities can help you and your loved one emotionally cope during this time, enjoy your final time together in a special way, and create lasting memories. If your sibling can no longer travel or is limited in their movement, consider bringing the fun and activities to them. Again, remember that the most important element of any activity you share with your sibling during this time is your simple presence, being there for them, and offering your unconditional love and support.

Taking The Focus Off Your Sibling’s Terminal Illness

Although it can be extremely difficult, focusing on the inevitable passing of your sibling will only serve to take away from the time you have left together. Try to also not constantly remind your sibling of their illness, and instead redirect your emotions and thoughts in a more positive direction by empowering them to do the things they’ve always loved to do.

It can sometimes be more harmful rather than helpful to overprotect your loved ones from participating in certain activities because of their illness. For instance, if you are now handling the majority of your sibling’s duties, like cooking and cleaning, etc., it can send the signal or a reminder that they are no longer capable of performing these things on their own. Instead, encourage your sibling to keep trying new things and challenging their strength, as well as help them counter their own self-limiting or deprecating thoughts.

Again, as difficult as it may be, try to focus on enjoying the time you have left together in an emotionally positive, healthy, and productive way rather than wallowing in negativity.

Being Present and Supportive

The bottom line is your presence and simply being there for your loved one during this time is the most powerful gesture of love you can offer. Your loved one needs you now more than ever before. Be there with an open heart to offer comfort and compassion. Your support will help them find peace and closure. If they are a person of faith, it is okay to encourage them to look towards their beliefs as an anchor. Remember, our loved ones, even after they are gone, will forever remain alive in our memories and hearts.

For more guidance on how to support a loved one during this time, you may also find our article on How to Find an Obituary for a Specific Person helpful.

FAQ

What is the best way to support a terminally ill sibling?

The best way to support a terminally ill sibling is to be present and offer unconditional love. Engage in meaningful activities together, listen to their needs, and create lasting memories.

How can I create a wish list for my terminally ill sibling?

Work with your sibling to list their most cherished desires, including activities they want to try, places they want to visit, and special occasions they want to celebrate. Focus on their wishes rather than your own.

What should I avoid doing when supporting a terminally ill sibling?

Avoid focusing excessively on their illness, constantly asking about their feelings, or overprotecting them. Instead, direct your efforts towards positive and comforting interactions.

How can I help my sibling feel less overwhelmed by their prognosis?

Encourage them to engage in activities they enjoy, and provide support in fulfilling their remaining wishes. Helping them stay active and positive can alleviate some of the emotional strain.