Pine Nuts: Residing in the 19th Century
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By McAvoy Layne — Residing in the 19th century can be rejuvenating. I’ve been comfortably ensconced there for forty years now and invite you to join me. All you need do, is select a 19th century character you admire, study that character’s life, and fall effortlessly into that character’s lifestyle. I believe you will be quite surprised how simple your life will suddenly become, and how contented you will be.
Some things will remain surprisingly the same, like football rivalries for example. Cal will still play Stanford in the Big Game. Other things will wane, like your interest in the new law that will ban the TikTok video app in the United States by Jan. 19 if its owner, ByteDance, does not sell it to a non-Chinese company. Your interest will wane because of your total oblivion to TikTok.
By the same token, your appreciation of classical music will spiral upward in the awareness of its wholesome effect on our longevity. That being said, Mark Twain’s assessment of Wagner’s music might also remain pertinent.
“I am proud to say I have heard the first act of everything Wagner ever wrote. But I found the effect to be so powerful upon me, that one act was quite sufficient. No, Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.”
In 1867 Mark Twain had an audience with Tsar Alexander, who greeted him, along with his Quaker City shipmates, at his summer home at Yalta on the Black Sea. The very fact that Ukraine and Russia are at war today will rest easier on your mind in the calm confidence that they will be friends yet again, and might even carry through with a former plan to erect a statue of Mark Twain in Odessa.
To maintain a wholesome life in the 19th century you need not take after Henry Thoreau and retreat to Waldon, no, you need only take to walking whenever possible, and in a fifteen- dog town you will soon know the first name of every dog in the village, just as I do today here in the Village of Incline. The smallest dog in our village as of this writing goes by the name of “Chompers.”
Personally, I do own a smart phone but keep it in the car for emergencies. My landline was given to me by Alexander Graham Bell, and still takes a perfect message: “Hello, this is McAvoy with a Twain thought for the day: “The holiday season reminds us forgetters of the forgotten.”
Soon enough you will take great pride in your smaller carbon footprint. Your neighbors will point you out to their children and say, “There! See that man? You want to be like him, and leave a smaller footprint on our precious planet.”
What could be more satisfying, more gratifying, than to become a role model for your neighbor’s kids? It just don’t get any better than that. So please come join me in the 19th century. You won’t be disappointed.
— For more than 35 years, in more than 4,000 performances, columnist and Chautauquan McAvoy Layne has been dedicated to preserving the wit and wisdom of “The Wild Humorist of the Pacific Slope,” Mark Twain. As Layne puts it: “It’s like being a Monday through Friday preacher, whose sermon, though not reverently pious, is fervently American.” Listen to the audio version of this column here.
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