Carol O’Brien
Carol was a beloved woman, who lived a long, full life devoted to care for others. She was born in Brooklyn, New York on September 17, 1934 to Josephine and John O’Brien. She is survived by her three children Erin Bakonyvari (Peter), Leo O’Brien (Vandy), and Sean O’Brien (Debra), six grandchildren, Ryan, Cayley, Truman, Katie, Nolan and Matthew, her sister Marilyn O’Brien and many treasured nieces, nephews and cousins. Carol is preceded in death by her husband Leo Joseph O’Brien, her sister Anne Winfield and her brother John H. O’Brien.
Carol grew up as a middle child in a lively family of four siblings in the Bay Ridge neighborhood of Brooklyn. Carol graduated from Notre Dame College (now St. John’s University) in 1956 with a degree in psychology. Her interest in psychology was an early reflection of her compassion for others and care for their wellbeing. In 1959 while in her mid-20s Carol, her younger sister Marilyn and their mother moved from New York to San Francisco together, each seeking new opportunities and better weather. When she first arrived, Carol worked in the U.C. Berkeley radiation laboratory, supporting some of the brightest scientists in the country. Carol, a lover of gardening, nature and plants, found that she adored the Bay Area, especially the weather and the year-round foliage.
Carol had an adventurous spirit and desire to understand and experience other cultures. In 1962, she left the U.S. for the first time and worked for 18 months in Tokyo at the U.S. Embassy. She loved her independence and the beauty of Japan. Carol purchased an “around-the-world” ticket home from Japan which allowed her to visit many countries in Asia and Europe as she made her way back to San Francisco.
After her return to the Bay Area, Carol took a job with Alameda County as a social worker. This experience helped cement her essential passion for justice and equality. At this time Carol joined the San Francisco Catholic Alumni Club, where she met the love of her life, Leo. They married in 1966, and were devoted to each other until his death in 2023.
In the early 1970’s, after living in different college towns due to Leo’s career, Carol and Leo returned to the Bay Area for good with their children, first living in San Francisco and then Orinda. Carol was an active stay at home mother who was always present and focused intently on the wellbeing of her children. She was a protective and strict parent as well as a loving and nurturing mother.
After her children grew up, Carol had more time to pursue her creative interests, especially in gardening and oil painting. Carol was social, and belonged to walking groups and several bridge groups. Carol for a time was the coordinator of the annual Santa Maria Parish bridge luncheon. Carol and Leo also used their new found free time to explore the world together. They took countless cruises to all parts of the planet often with family and friends, visiting every continent together. Throughout her life, Carol stayed abreast of the news, with a daily ritual of reading the New York Times, which allowed her a deep dive into the goings on in the world and a connection to her childhood city.
Carol hosted decades of family meals and gatherings for holidays and birthdays, emphasizing family connection and time together. She was a babysitter, cheerleader and supporter of each of her six grandkids in many different ways throughout their lives.
Carol and Leo were also both devoted members of Santa Maria parish. Carol’s lifelong practice of her Catholic faith was most ardently expressed in her desire to aid the downtrodden and disadvantaged. Her generosity and kindness touched many. Her big smile, easy laugh and warm hugs will always be remembered and forever missed.