What to Bring to a Funeral or Memorial Service

Attending a funeral or memorial service is an emotionally charged experience for everyone involved, regardless of your relationship to the deceased. Whether you are a close family member, a friend, or a neighbor, you will likely be affected by the occasion.

Deciding what to bring to a memorial service express your sympathy and condolences during this challenging time can be difficult. Ultimately, your presence and support are the most meaningful contributions you can make. However, small gifts such as flowers, a sympathy card, a donation, or photographs can also express your sentiments thoughtfully.

We’ve created this guide to help ease this process and offer ideas for showing your sympathy and compassion to grieving loved ones.

Should I Bring a Gift or Money to a Funeral Reception?

There are various factors that influence what is suitable to bring to a funeral service, such as your relationship to the deceased. If you are a close family member, you might handle responsibilities like managing the guest book, bringing videos or photos of the deceased, or arranging refreshments for the guests.

If your relationship with the deceased was that of a friend or acquaintance, a small gift is often a considerate gesture. However, bringing money or a financial donation is typically avoided unless you have a close relationship with the family or if it has been specifically requested to help cover funeral expenses.

Additionally, customs and traditions related to the deceased’s religion or culture can influence what is appropriate to bring. For example, in Jewish traditions, it is customary to bring food baskets or trays to a memorial service, as the grieving family will abstain from cooking during shiva.

What Are Appropriate Gifts for a Funeral Service?

What is considered an appropriate gift for a funeral service? Here are some top recommendations to guide you. Keep in mind that every funeral is different, and you should respect the grieving family’s traditions.

Funeral Flowers

Flowers are a traditional and popular choice. Opt for simple, discreet arrangements that will not disturb other attendees or overshadow the grieving family. Flowers symbolize serenity and sympathy, making them a thoughtful choice. Subdued or pastel-colored flowers, such as lilies, are particularly suitable.

It is best to send flowers before the reception starts or to the grieving family’s residence rather than bringing them to the funeral home. Consult with the funeral home and review any guidelines on the family’s website to ensure you adhere to their preferences.

Consider adding a touch of nature to your sympathy gesture.

A thoughtful plant can bring comfort and solace during a difficult time.

Browse Comfort Plants

Sympathy Cards

A sympathy card is a classic and meaningful way to convey your condolences. It allows you to express your sorrow and provide comfort to the grieving family even if you are not able to speak with them personally. A card serves as a lasting reminder of your support and appreciation for the deceased.

Photographs

Bringing photographs can be a heartfelt gesture, depending on the service and the family’s wishes. Photos can evoke positive memories and offer comfort during a difficult time. If appropriate, consider bringing a few photos depicting special moments with the deceased to add to a memorial mural or share with the family.

How Should I Approach Gift-Giving at a Funeral?

The most important thing to remember is that no gift can replace the support and comfort you provide by being present. A funeral is not the time for extravagant gifts that could detract from the solemn nature of the occasion. Keep your gesture simple and respectful to honor the memory of the deceased and show your support to the grieving family.

For more guidance on how to find an obituary for a specific person, visit How to Find an Obituary for a Specific Person.

FAQ

1. What should I bring to a funeral if I am a close family member?

If you are a close family member, you might handle tasks like managing the guest book, bringing photos or videos, or arranging refreshments. It is generally not necessary to bring additional gifts unless you choose to contribute something meaningful like a personal note or memento.

2. Is it appropriate to bring money to a funeral service?

Bringing money is usually avoided unless you are closely related to the family or if it has been specifically requested to assist with funeral expenses. If in doubt, a thoughtful card or flowers are usually appropriate.

3. What types of flowers are best to bring to a funeral?

Opt for simple, discreet flowers in subdued or pastel colors. Lilies and other modest blooms are often suitable. Ensure the arrangement does not disrupt other attendees or draw attention away from the grieving family.

4. How can I show support if I cannot attend the funeral?

Sending a sympathy card or flowers to the family’s residence is a considerate way to express your condolences if you are unable to attend the service.

5. Are there any cultural considerations for gifts at a funeral?

Yes, cultural and religious traditions can influence what is appropriate. For instance, in Jewish traditions, food baskets are often appreciated. Always respect the family’s customs and consult with the funeral home if unsure.